We all know that the surrounding environment and family play a role in shaping a person’s character. Every person learns both good and bad from his family, and surrounding environment such as neighborhood, school, and traveling companions. Therefore, the character of the environment in which he grows up is reflected in that environment. So the question naturally comes – is your child growing up safely?
Behavior of Children by Environment:
(1) In a family where the relationship between husband and wife is bad, there are constant quarrels and shouting, and the children of the family grow up to be fearful, lack confidence, and disrespect their parents.
It is easy to imagine how they will behave with their future parents and when they get married they will never be able to make a successful husband-wife relationship.
(2) If a baby boy grows up in his family seeing his mother being physically and mentally abused by his father and his mother putting up with it, he assumes it is normal. Later, when he becomes a husband, he treats his wife the same way and expects his wife to bear everything as his mother did. When the wife is protesting, instead of the husband’s love for the wife, anger is born, or he thinks that his wife does not love him! Because he wants to tolerate everything, his wife will only love him, this is the rule for him!
Again, the girl in that family like her mother grows up with the mentality of understanding and enduring all the tortures of her husband. His courage or freedom to protest dies. Conversely, in a family where parents respect each other, the child grows up to respect his partner.
(3) In a family where the maid is abused, the child of the family grows up and considers it normal to abuse the workers.
(4) A student who grows up being spanked by a teacher reveals himself as a spanked teacher if he later chooses the teaching profession.
(5) In families where there are parents of extreme miserliness or extreme nature, the children of the family also get used to that habit.
(6) Conservatism also manifests in the mentality of children of ultra-conservative families. Again, ultra-modernity is manifested in the case of children who grow up in ultra-modern families.
(7) As the saying goes – ‘Honest with heaven. Destruction with dishonesty’!
(8) The children of the families living in the village have a rural nature and mentality. No matter how big the child grows up and steps into the big city, no matter how big the degree is!
But there are also many examples of sick family environments, many have grown up and made themselves independent from the family. For example, after seeing the mother being abused, he realized the suffering of the whole woman amid the mother’s pain, and he gave due respect to his wife. He did not accept ‘wrong’ as ‘right’, he accepted ‘wrong’ as wrong. There are also many examples of people who have grown up in a healthy environment but have developed themselves into an unhealthy mindset.
The family is the ‘potter’ and the child of the family is the ‘clay.’
Family happiness is due to Ramani
If a good husband stays with her.
The poet must have wanted to say that both husband and wife should contribute to making the family happy. So except for the second line, the first line is incomplete and half-true.
It is the same with men and women. What is necessary for a family to be happy? Maybe someone emotionally says, love? Realists may say money! Just as love does not fill the stomach, money cannot buy happiness or peace.
Suppose, there is both love and wealth in a family! Still, why is there no happiness in the world?
What is the answer? Adjustment problems or disagreements or lack of understanding!
If there is disagreement between brothers, sisters, father and son, mother and daughter, why not husband and wife?
People who grew up in different families are scattered around us. We do not find our life partner from among them. So is it unusual to disagree? For example, if a girl from a very modern well-to-do family and an educated, well-employed boy from the village get married, it is normal to have adjustment problems. When two people come from two completely different backgrounds, love is formed between them, but they disagree on everything. Does not match! When a person falls in love with another person, many of his bad habits are ignored. Maybe love is blind!! But when they enter family life, it doesn’t take long for the moles to become tame.
The first two years of marriage are spent in laughter and joy. At that time, one may feel as much as one knows the other. But no! At that time, only the names of the partner’s habits, likes, and dislikes are known. Little by little, one learns to know and understand each other and thus the relationship matures and matures. As people grow older, the maturity of the mind comes, so does the age of the relationship. Understand how complex the human mind is! That is, just as sadness cannot be realized only from the time of happiness in the relationship, happiness cannot be realized only from the time of sadness. Therefore, the relationship has to be given both time and space.
Every person is different from each other. The same object is seen by different eyes. You must know the story of the three blind men seeing the elephant. Write from anywhere. So when your partner gives an opinion against you, you should at least once judge the thing from his point of view.
I hear many people saying angrily, ‘I am not a match for him in anything. Life is only one, why should I compromise and spend my life?’ Match tie with shirt, match veil with salwar kameez! Are they all the same color? I always like all the same colors! Do not contrast different colors! Why contrast is so popular with people than all the same colors? Why do magnets attract opposites?
You are the serious type, and so is your partner; Will you enjoy the joy without some calculation in life? You are bad-tempered and so is your partner; Will there be peace in your world? Find the answers to these questions! If the two are different, one understands the other and gets away from a monogamous life. So maybe Allah Rabbul Alamin made our pair from above.
A husband-wife relationship is not just about having children and staying under one roof. Staying under one roof can be a house or shelter but not family. The long road called samsara cannot be crossed from front to back, one has to walk side by side to reach the destination. The relationship between husband and wife is not so strong that day after day one will bear the mistakes of the other and stay together. And not so delicate that one’s slightest mistake can end the relationship.
No other relationship in the world is permanent except that of a parent with a child. So the relationship needs to be taken care of from both sides. A relationship can be called a sprout from a dormant seed. Who needs to be carefully woken up and watered at the right time? Only then the leaves will come out and it will turn into a tree. Over time, both flowers and fruits will come on that tree. The name of the sapling garden called samsara is samsara. And the gardener is not one, but two.
What is needed to make the family happy?
(1) Keeping trust, love, and respect for each other.
(2) It is necessary to give up ego. Many people call ego self-respect. Do not confuse ego with self-respect. Two things.
(3) Willingness to understand each other i.e understanding
(4) Forgiveness mindset (If your partner ever makes a mistake, give him a chance, maybe he will come back to you better than before)
(5) Sacrifice for both.
(6) Trying to be satisfied with one music.
(7) Flexibility as demand.
Life is only human. What is the use of spending this little life-fighting? “If my little sacrifice brings happiness to my family, then I will do it” – this attitude should be shared equally by both of you. Both of you should participate equally in making your family life happy. Help your children to grow up with respect for you.